Hugot #3

Eto nanaman ako, nag-aantay at umaasang ika’y magbalik upang gawing mainit ang aking Pasko.

Ngunit alam ko sa aking sarili na ang ating relasyon ay sinlamig ng simoy ng hangin na gabi-gabi’y pinapaalala sa akin na tayo’y wala na.


Soaked to the Bones

Tired, cold, and hungry; that’s how I felt while we were walking down the street from our campus leading to the main highway. I was soaking wet from the knees down as we fought against the strong winds and unending rain. My shoes were constantly squeaking and I could feel bubbles forming against my feet.

If that wasn’t bad enough, we had to contend with the frequent lightning and thunder that would make us jump in surprise. And, our very good fortune didn’t stop there! While we were walking, the streetlamp flickered and died. As if walking in cold, flowing murky water wasn’t an enough challenge; we had to do it in the dark!

We’re just lucky that Arenn was able to get a taxi as soon as we got to the main highway. If not, we would have been so screwed.

On the ride to town, so many things were running through my mind…

We could have went home earlier, if only we didn’t have a Student Government meeting.

We would not have been drenched in rainwater and runoff, if only we left as soon as the meeting’s original agenda was met.

We would not have been at school until 6:20 in the evening, if only the meeting was adjourned earlier.

All these ‘if only’s; however, there’s nothing we could do. We do not command the heavens; we cannot simply say, “Rain, thunder, stop!” and end the torment that the torrential rains bring upon us. We can only adjust ourselves in line with the fact that the later time of day it is, the higher the probability of strong rain.

Nothing more, nothing less.


napakalakas ng buhos ng ulan
para bang sumasabay sa aking nadarama
gulong-gulo ang aking damdamin
sapagkat hindi ko na alam kung ano ang tama

ako’y lubusan nang nalilito
lahat nalang, naghahalu-halo
paano na magpapatuloy
kung aking kaluluwa’y tila nagyeyelo?

sa dinami-rami ng mga responsibilidad
ako’y hindi mapalagay sa aking iisipin
kung kaya’t idinadaan na lang sa pagnood
ng pbb, at iba’t ibang pagkain

hindi ko maintindihan aking nararamdaman
ni hindi man lang mailabas ang saloobin
ilang linggo na ang nakalipas ngunit
ang dilim ay nakapaligid pa rin

“No More Time”

I’m just going to flat out say it; don’t take this against me.

I think it’s extremely unfair that the double eliminations rule for the basketball championships was forfeited just because of the lack of time. It’s understandable that they were rushing things due to the limited time reserved at the gym. But, I think it’s a bit frustrating how they sacrificed the “twice to beat” title of the Redvolution just because they were trying to keep a tight schedule. I mean, seriously. They could have just moved the awarding ceremony and held that at school on Monday.

No hard feelings to the Bluebasaurs; they were good. They deserved to win that first game but, there still should have been a second game since the Redvolution haven’t yet previously lost to another team.

Hindi man lang ba naramdaman ng Bluebasaurs na hindi makatarungan ang pagkapanalo ng basketball team dahil na-cancel ang pagiging “twice to beat” ng Redvolution? Mas lalo na’t hindi natuloy ang ikalawang laro dahil lang sa kakulangan ng oras? 

I’m only a student; a part of the audience; a bitter member of the Redvolution, if you may. Wala akong magagawa sapagkat tapos na.

I just hope this incident won’t happen again anytime in the future.

It’s 3AM and I Need To Get This Out Of My Chest

I hate feeling as if I’m in a competition with her.

Even though people might say, “You two are different. Don’t compare yourself to her.”, I still can’t stop myself from doing so.

It is absolutely horrible to feel invalidated and small whenever she’s around. I know she’s my friend, and I truly do love her and I think she’s cool; but, sometimes it is simply too much.

Despite the fact that I consider her to be one of my sisters, I just can’t help but feel insecure. I don’t know, man. I mean, our batchmates adore her; they think she’s really rad and absolutely the best groupmate ever. She has a band which is composed of a couple other guys from our batch.


That is what greatly upsets me. She’s in a band; I’m in a band. Hindi ko alam kung kaya naming makipagsabayan sa kanila.

But honestly, the band thing never really took off. It only happened what, once? Besides, one of our members is seemingly in a new group so okay, nevermind. I feel a little betrayed haha

But, hey. Maybe I just need to work on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I need to make myself think and believe that I can do it, that I am good at what I do; and hopefully, I won’t feel invalidated because of anyone else ever again.