Habang Nagkaklase

may mga panahon habang nagkaklase
na kahit anong gawin mo
walang wala ka nang maintindihan

tipo bang wala ka na sa focus
at nakatitig na lang sa board
minsan na, sa bintana pa ang tingin

magtatanong ang teacher
“class, gets niyo ba?”
tatango ka nang ‘di mo napapansin

at sa oras na magising ka na
mula sa sarili mong mundo
wala kang maintindihan at nakalayo na sila

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friendzone

hindi ko alam kung paano ito gawin
hindi ko alam kung anong dapat gawin
kung pwede lang na hindi ito bigkasin
pero ayaw ko naman na ika’y paasahin

‘wag mo nang isipin na mayroong pagkakataon
na magkakaroon ng tayong magtatagal ng taon
patawarin mo ako, sapagkat hindi ko maibabalik
ang iyong inaasam na pagmamahal
at hinihinging halik

Soaked to the Bones

Tired, cold, and hungry; that’s how I felt while we were walking down the street from our campus leading to the main highway. I was soaking wet from the knees down as we fought against the strong winds and unending rain. My shoes were constantly squeaking and I could feel bubbles forming against my feet.

If that wasn’t bad enough, we had to contend with the frequent lightning and thunder that would make us jump in surprise. And, our very good fortune didn’t stop there! While we were walking, the streetlamp flickered and died. As if walking in cold, flowing murky water wasn’t an enough challenge; we had to do it in the dark!

We’re just lucky that Arenn was able to get a taxi as soon as we got to the main highway. If not, we would have been so screwed.

On the ride to town, so many things were running through my mind…

We could have went home earlier, if only we didn’t have a Student Government meeting.

We would not have been drenched in rainwater and runoff, if only we left as soon as the meeting’s original agenda was met.

We would not have been at school until 6:20 in the evening, if only the meeting was adjourned earlier.

All these ‘if only’s; however, there’s nothing we could do. We do not command the heavens; we cannot simply say, “Rain, thunder, stop!” and end the torment that the torrential rains bring upon us. We can only adjust ourselves in line with the fact that the later time of day it is, the higher the probability of strong rain.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Ulan

napakalakas ng buhos ng ulan
para bang sumasabay sa aking nadarama
gulong-gulo ang aking damdamin
sapagkat hindi ko na alam kung ano ang tama

ako’y lubusan nang nalilito
lahat nalang, naghahalu-halo
paano na magpapatuloy
kung aking kaluluwa’y tila nagyeyelo?

sa dinami-rami ng mga responsibilidad
ako’y hindi mapalagay sa aking iisipin
kung kaya’t idinadaan na lang sa pagnood
ng pbb, at iba’t ibang pagkain

hindi ko maintindihan aking nararamdaman
ni hindi man lang mailabas ang saloobin
ilang linggo na ang nakalipas ngunit
ang dilim ay nakapaligid pa rin

It’s 3AM and I Need To Get This Out Of My Chest

I hate feeling as if I’m in a competition with her.

Even though people might say, “You two are different. Don’t compare yourself to her.”, I still can’t stop myself from doing so.

It is absolutely horrible to feel invalidated and small whenever she’s around. I know she’s my friend, and I truly do love her and I think she’s cool; but, sometimes it is simply too much.

Despite the fact that I consider her to be one of my sisters, I just can’t help but feel insecure. I don’t know, man. I mean, our batchmates adore her; they think she’s really rad and absolutely the best groupmate ever. She has a band which is composed of a couple other guys from our batch.

*sigh*

That is what greatly upsets me. She’s in a band; I’m in a band. Hindi ko alam kung kaya naming makipagsabayan sa kanila.

But honestly, the band thing never really took off. It only happened what, once? Besides, one of our members is seemingly in a new group so okay, nevermind. I feel a little betrayed haha

But, hey. Maybe I just need to work on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I need to make myself think and believe that I can do it, that I am good at what I do; and hopefully, I won’t feel invalidated because of anyone else ever again.

I Want To Travel

The traveler in me wants to get out of the house and go places I haven’t been to.

Right now, the urge to go on an adventure is steadily increasing. Despite the fact that it’s nearly nine in the evening, I seriously want to just grab my phone, take some money, and leave. If I wasn’t a minor, I definitely would.

The lesser vacation time we have, the more I want to traverse the lands and maybe fly through the air via ziplines.

I am so full of excitement and wonder, and I just really want to go places.

Someone take me.