“No More Time”

I’m just going to flat out say it; don’t take this against me.

I think it’s extremely unfair that the double eliminations rule for the basketball championships was forfeited just because of the lack of time. It’s understandable that they were rushing things due to the limited time reserved at the gym. But, I think it’s a bit frustrating how they sacrificed the “twice to beat” title of the Redvolution just because they were trying to keep a tight schedule. I mean, seriously. They could have just moved the awarding ceremony and held that at school on Monday.

No hard feelings to the Bluebasaurs; they were good. They deserved to win that first game but, there still should have been a second game since the Redvolution haven’t yet previously lost to another team.

Hindi man lang ba naramdaman ng Bluebasaurs na hindi makatarungan ang pagkapanalo ng basketball team dahil na-cancel ang pagiging “twice to beat” ng Redvolution? Mas lalo na’t hindi natuloy ang ikalawang laro dahil lang sa kakulangan ng oras? 

I’m only a student; a part of the audience; a bitter member of the Redvolution, if you may. Wala akong magagawa sapagkat tapos na.

I just hope this incident won’t happen again anytime in the future.

It’s 3AM and I Need To Get This Out Of My Chest

I hate feeling as if I’m in a competition with her.

Even though people might say, “You two are different. Don’t compare yourself to her.”, I still can’t stop myself from doing so.

It is absolutely horrible to feel invalidated and small whenever she’s around. I know she’s my friend, and I truly do love her and I think she’s cool; but, sometimes it is simply too much.

Despite the fact that I consider her to be one of my sisters, I just can’t help but feel insecure. I don’t know, man. I mean, our batchmates adore her; they think she’s really rad and absolutely the best groupmate ever. She has a band which is composed of a couple other guys from our batch.

*sigh*

That is what greatly upsets me. She’s in a band; I’m in a band. Hindi ko alam kung kaya naming makipagsabayan sa kanila.

But honestly, the band thing never really took off. It only happened what, once? Besides, one of our members is seemingly in a new group so okay, nevermind. I feel a little betrayed haha

But, hey. Maybe I just need to work on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I need to make myself think and believe that I can do it, that I am good at what I do; and hopefully, I won’t feel invalidated because of anyone else ever again.

Grade Nine: Program Terminated

<!– Beginning !–>

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano at saan ko ‘to sisimulan.

So much happened within this school year and I’m not really sure if I should be happy or not that grade nine’s ending.

On one hand, I don’t want the good times with the Lithium fam to end.

On the other hand, I’m so tired of all the drama and crap that went on throughout the year, I swear to God. It’s quite saddening that the bad things kinda outweigh the good but, let’s not dwell on that; after all, it’s over and done with.

As is always the case, every school year is a series of ups and downs; this one isn’t an exception. In the school year 2015-2016, I’ve learned quite a lot from each of my classes and subject teachers, lessons relating to life and academics alike. But I suppose, the most important one is the fact that every single person is different; you should learn to respect and appreciate everyone for who they are but, if they’re pushing the boundaries, you should grow a pair and tell them.

Of course, I’m not perfect; I have my fair share of mistakes and shortcomings. I’m quite sure I’ve disappointed quite a lot of people this year and I greatly apologize I didn’t get to live up to your expectations. I’m sorry I failed to be the person you wanted me to be. I’m sorry for not having taken my responsibilities seriously. I’m sorry.

However, despite all the negativity, this year had been fun. I’ve gained new experiences as well as new friends. I’ve become more mature in physical, emotional and mental aspects (possibly even in the spiritual one). To all of my teachers, my classmates, my batchmates and schoolmates, thank you for a productive and interesting school year.

Achievement Unlocked! I survived ninth grade.

<!– End !–>

Saloobin Ukol Sa ‘Yo

hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit
ganoon na lamang ang dating
ng iyong mga aksyon at galawan
pagdating sa akin

napapasabi ako ng mura
at ewan, iritang irita
ako sa mga sinasabi mong
walang kwenta at kung ano pa

siguro ako lang nakakakita
pero sobrang pakitang tao kasi
ng mga salitang binibitiwan mo
mas lalo na sa harapan niya

bakit ba ang duwag mo?
di mo ba siya kayang harapin?
para kang nagbabait-baitan
para lang ‘di mapasama sa gulo

ayoko na, ititigil ko na to
baka kung ano pa ang aking mabigkas
pero please, wag maging asumero
mabuti pa’t mag-aral nalang

Uncontrollable Rage

my heart pumps blood through my body
at a hundred miles per hour
my body trembles incessantly
after seemingly going to war

a heat traversed my being
i could feel it in my veins
when i opened my mouth to shout
i had let go of my reigns

the minute that the words left my lips
my body pulsed with heat
with shaking hands, i felt weak
feeling on edge on my seat

because of their noise and impertinence
my rage exploded and grew
they just had to be so obnoxious
if i could only shut their mouths with glue

***

Footnote (a little backstory):

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Near – Breaking Point

There are days when even the most trivial things can get on my nerves. My temper flares even at the slightest provocation and I get really worked up. Challenge me to a debate match on one of these days and I’d probably be yelling within ten minutes (maybe even less).

During these times, I find that my patience is as short as I am (and that’s saying a lot since I’m not even 5 feet tall). Try to say something stupid or ask a question that can easily be answered if you used your common sense and I’ll punch you. See my eyes? They’re rolling like bowling balls inside their sockets. That’s how annoyed I am.

Seriously though, it seems as if “common sense” doesn’t deserve its name anymore; it’s barely even “common” nowadays. It’s frutrating.

Say for example, you walk along the corridor of your school and someone throws a candy wrapper just wherever. I find myself staring daggers at them and they don’t even notice. There’s a trash can right beside you and you don’t make use of it. Do you want me to throw you out of the window? No? Well, you should know better than to litter in front of me. *sighs dramatically* In my opinion and perspective, too many annoying and ‘common sense’-less people exist and it just drives me insane.

I don’t honestly know what the point of this entire thing is *gestures toward the text I wrote above* but, maybe I just want to let out all these pent up feelings.