It’s 3AM and I Need To Get This Out Of My Chest

I hate feeling as if I’m in a competition with her.

Even though people might say, “You two are different. Don’t compare yourself to her.”, I still can’t stop myself from doing so.

It is absolutely horrible to feel invalidated and small whenever she’s around. I know she’s my friend, and I truly do love her and I think she’s cool; but, sometimes it is simply too much.

Despite the fact that I consider her to be one of my sisters, I just can’t help but feel insecure. I don’t know, man. I mean, our batchmates adore her; they think she’s really rad and absolutely the best groupmate ever. She has a band which is composed of a couple other guys from our batch.

*sigh*

That is what greatly upsets me. She’s in a band; I’m in a band. Hindi ko alam kung kaya naming makipagsabayan sa kanila.

But honestly, the band thing never really took off. It only happened what, once? Besides, one of our members is seemingly in a new group so okay, nevermind. I feel a little betrayed haha

But, hey. Maybe I just need to work on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I need to make myself think and believe that I can do it, that I am good at what I do; and hopefully, I won’t feel invalidated because of anyone else ever again.

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