It’s 3AM and I Need To Get This Out Of My Chest

I hate feeling as if I’m in a competition with her.

Even though people might say, “You two are different. Don’t compare yourself to her.”, I still can’t stop myself from doing so.

It is absolutely horrible to feel invalidated and small whenever she’s around. I know she’s my friend, and I truly do love her and I think she’s cool; but, sometimes it is simply too much.

Despite the fact that I consider her to be one of my sisters, I just can’t help but feel insecure. I don’t know, man. I mean, our batchmates adore her; they think she’s really rad and absolutely the best groupmate ever. She has a band which is composed of a couple other guys from our batch.

*sigh*

That is what greatly upsets me. She’s in a band; I’m in a band. Hindi ko alam kung kaya naming makipagsabayan sa kanila.

But honestly, the band thing never really took off. It only happened what, once? Besides, one of our members is seemingly in a new group so okay, nevermind. I feel a little betrayed haha

But, hey. Maybe I just need to work on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I need to make myself think and believe that I can do it, that I am good at what I do; and hopefully, I won’t feel invalidated because of anyone else ever again.

I Want To Travel

The traveler in me wants to get out of the house and go places I haven’t been to.

Right now, the urge to go on an adventure is steadily increasing. Despite the fact that it’s nearly nine in the evening, I seriously want to just grab my phone, take some money, and leave. If I wasn’t a minor, I definitely would.

The lesser vacation time we have, the more I want to traverse the lands and maybe fly through the air via ziplines.

I am so full of excitement and wonder, and I just really want to go places.

Someone take me.

Being Sick Is The Worst

It’s been five days and I’m still kinda sick. Well, that sucks.

But, do you know what’s worse? Not being with you.

Sure, we have our daily conversations but I can see that it isn’t enough for us.

I can feel your frustration; I can feel your pain.

I know that you miss me as much as I miss you.

Sadly, there’s nothing much we can do…

Unless someone somehow invents portals that could connect our rooms.

In the meantime, I guess I’ll just go back to missing you…

… and waiting for classes to start up again so we could see each other every day.

Ikaw

wala akong pakialam
sa sasabihin ng iba
sapagkat alam kong
mahal na mahal kita

ikaw ang ninanais
makasama habang buhay
bata pa man tayo’y
ayaw ko na sa iyo’y mawalay

malapit na ang ating
ikatlong taon ng pagsasama
ikaw ang aking kasiyahan
at mahal na mahal kita